teddy_kenji's Xanga

falling apart

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:51:36 GMT

What a horrible month. Me and my boyfriend are arguing. And today i caught a glimpse of him on his phone looking at a picture of what i'm pretty sure was a girls pussy. I couldn't see it good because when he saw that i was looking at him and noticed that i gave him a weird look he kept trying to hide his phone. Shit. Why do i always go for the wrong guys? I mean, i really do want to find that one guy who isn't like the others. So far all my boyfriends have treated me like shit. I have this. I just want to feel beautiful for once in my life. besides that i'm looking for a job because i got fired from my old one just for trying to call a day off. And i never call off. Fuck it. They wanted me to work while i was so sick i puked when i walked in there. But now my boyfriend is giving me shit for it and trying to force me to work in a place where there are 3 sisters there that talk shit to new people for no reason. I don't feel like fighting 3 fuckin people. fuck my life..... i hate this shit. I believe in karma. So when is something good gonna happen to me? I'm fuckin waiting!

falling apart

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:50:17 GMT

Main point.....

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 01:39:10 GMT

i want my dog

the choice to live life by the book or from the heart

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 05:04:53 GMT

well me and my boyfriend got into a really touchy convo today. Religion. See i want my kids to have an open mind and choose what they want to believe in. Yet he (and his uber religious friend) think its best to make the kid HAVE a religion. I don't believe in anything. And see they think its best to let the kid have something they can fall back on. I want them to know that shit happens. Gosh. Now me and him aren't talking. See i don't plan for them to be pushed into believing anything. If they want to believe in god while i don't its fine. But he wants for them to believe in something. If they don't want to believe in anything its fine. Gosh. This really got me mad. As you can tell religion doesn't only start wars around the world, but at home as well. I mean, whats so bad about knowing the truth? That life is filled with good things and bad things? And they say i'm wasting MY life because i don't believe in anything? Shit! Last time i remember i'm doing shit that makes me happy without the help of a book telling stories. I don't have to pray to be happy. I do happy all by myself. I see THAT as enjoying life and living it to the fullest.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 22:07:56 GMT

well my ex still can't seen to leave me alone. Its sorta funny how one day hes talking about how he feels like the girl hes with is "the one" and then the next day he talks about how he misses me and he feels like he can't live without me. Its ridiculous. I just wish he could leave me alone. besides his annoyance, life here in kansas is pretty good. So calm and relaxing. I feel so much better about everything even about myself. Its amazing. As for my current boyfriend, hes just...... Something else. I want to say perfect but it's unbelievable but perfect really is the word i want to use. He loves me for me and he loves the things that i consider as flaws about myself. Hes always giving me so much attention and i love it. Wow. I just could go on and on talking about this guy but i'm sure nobody cares .

as more days pass....

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:47:25 GMT

we keep growing stronger and stronger. But there are still people who keep trying to tear up apart but it doesn't work. So its great :) i'm so relaxed its been going good and wichita isn't a bad as i thought. Even though theres nothing to do really :( but the cat keeps me entertained . Hes extremely fluffy though lol well i'm a bit tired bye

new life, man, and me.

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 16:06:18 GMT

Well i am finally in wichita kansas. So far so good. I have never been this relaxed in my life. But i do miss some people who are in chicago. My new boyfriend is just the best. Never have i been this happy. Although my ex keeps bothering me by trying to get me jealous by dating a girl hes only known for about three days. Pathetic. But it still doesn't bother me. But my boyfriend right now is absolutely amazing. I can't help but to smile when i wake up next to him. I can tell that he loves me for me. Hes the kind of guy you would see dating some blonde prep cheerleader girl. And we used to in to school together. If was basically a jock. Who would have known that he was so sweet. And i do consider myself lucky. I finally have the guy i deserve. As for the new me, i learned that theses ALWAYS a way out. I thought my life was just gonna fuck up but wow i was wrong. I'm a much calmer person and i take time to look for a solution. I think things through more often now. I don't know. I feel that this change was for the best and it did me some good. :) well i better get going. My boyfriend is about to wake up and make of breakfast :) yay

FML

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:04:00 GMT

once again....

just fuck it... =[

Next Tuesday

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:58:41 GMT

I'm off to Kansas

I'm in love.

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:38:47 GMT

yep... =]
i can't help smiling.

and I'm heading off to kansas by the end of the month.
wish me luck peoples!